Loving, Caring & Disappointment

I'm entitled of guilt, of all the pain and fuck ups i caused him. Of ghosting him for days, weeks and months. What kind of person am i... To show him this type of love... Who am i to care, if couldn't do it when you most needed it?

What the fuck was wrong with me... Each time in my life i lose more than anyone could bare.

I really wish everything can just go back to normal. I wish i was better than this, i wish i wasn't such a total klutz, a tool to tell you i really want you to stay. I wish i wasn't so dumb and stupid to learn how to use this... Till this day i am not good at this world you wanted me to be. There is still learning curveballs. I don't look all glamour's like the rest, i look like a plastic doll, cheap like the play doll that is left in the toy chest for kids to grab when they get bored. I don't wear fancy shoes, expensive dresses, top notch jewelry and Linden money bursting out my pocket like an automatic teller machine, to hand them a generous amount of luxury.

I don't own a home there, i don't own prism for a land to build my own town. I don't have the talent to create or play an instrument, I don't have the knowledge like the rest of the world to understand this complex concept.

I am different, different with a disappointment. I can't keep up on a conversation with other's because i think i am not interesting to get to know, to be around others because my level of intellectualness is not near from average.

I wish i had the time to tell you that i am there for you. To support you when you have nothing, to accompany you in your long journey, to stand besides you even if you we're in the other side of the world.

Love you, care for you, cherish you, please you...

Who am i to love, if i can't love myself?

Loving you each moment, caring for you each minute... Although I'm such a disappointment for the world. Yet, i am for what i am, Different in every aspect ratio of my entire life. Different in pixels, Different in person, although same person behind the screens that lies from those clicking keys... A man that has a woman living in him

I hope one day I can come up to you in person and tell you, that you deserve more than anyone else in the world, that your worth a lot to live for.

I am not here to write a sad story... I am here to write about the love, the caring and a disappointment i once was. And that you always come around and make the best of it.

Time has the ability to change a landscape, an ocean, a road, a canyon and the seasons.

We have grown into different people for the past months.

I want you to know that despite from all we've been through I'll always give you my support no matter what. I'll always stand besides you even if it's good or bad.

I'll try to be there physically...

But I'll be there mostly spiritually, always helping you out in hard times.

I will take this to my grave and keep that promise cause this is how I am... from who I am.

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These are old pictures when i was first started in Second Life.

King5Reaper I honor you in my blog. This is more than a shout out, this is my gift for you from the bottom of my heart.

I hope i made you the happiest guy that beautiful day.

~Revolution Anime